Q: I thought I knew how to give a blow job but after a recent experience now I wonder if there are some more tips and tricks I could learn. I feel strange asking this as a 30 something woman who has had enough partners to have learnt some of my own tricks along the way. When I stopped to think about it recently no one actually taught me, my previous partners have not been all that great on feedback so I thought I would ask a sexologist. What are the tips and tricks for giving a great blow job?
A: Thank you so much for your question, it is not the first time I have been asked this and it is not unusual for someone to ask this question no matter your age. It is fantastic that you want to learn how to give a better blow job and give your partner pleasure. Because it is a question, I get asked somewhat regularly I talked to a bunch of men and women about their preferences and techniques. I spoke to men and women I know; I spoke to professionals. Here is a summary of some of the advice I came across on how to give amazing blowjobs;
- No Teeth
This a little obvious but teeth do not necessarily feel good to a penis owner. Cosmo may recommend “give a little nibble”, but all those I spoke to said that a little nibble does not necessarily feel good. A good pucker can work but again the advice I gathered was to stretch your lips over your teeth to prevent any accidental harm to the receiver of the blow job.
- A Helping Hand
Helping hands make a blow job easier, while you don’t have to use hands to help you give an amazing blow job, they do make it easier. Hands are good for helping with momentum and allow you to focus your mouth on the head of the penis. Some penis owners like it when you give their penis a light twist while you like the head of the penis.
- Lick It
Imagine you are licking an ice cream. Swirl your tongue around the head of the penis, circles are always good, then lick back down the shaft. It is a simple action that can be made even hotter by making eye contact while you do but if you are not comfortable with eye contact keeping your tongue involved is hot on its own.
- Create Pressure
One of the most common tips I heard was that pressure was important for a great blow job. What does pressure mean? That means suck, pressure created by sucking. Every penis owner is different with how much pressure they like so if you are unsure stop and ask. For example, some love the feeling of having the head of the penis sucked while others find it all together overwhelming. So, if you can’t tell and even if you can it is a good idea to ask what works for them and what doesn’t or even if they would like you to try something different.
- Slow and Steady
Slow and steady works really well for some penis owners but not for others. If they like it slow and steady keep your tongue moving, keep it working the shaft and the tip. Like other types of sexual activity, you don’t have to rush through a blow job, it can be a slow mindfully pleasurable experience. You can take your time enjoying your partners reactions and the idea that you are giving them pleasure.
- Do not forget the Balls
A kink sex educator I spoke to explained that there are two kinds of penis-owners in this world - those who like their balls to be touched and those who don’t. They suggested two ways to find out which your partner is, ask before or during the activity or if you are in the moment and haven’t asked give the testicles a light tap or caressing the balls gently while you suck the penis. Pay attention to the reaction you get, if they’re enjoying it, then try massage the balls while you keep exploring the penis.
- Deep Throat
Beyond the discussion of consent and ensuring all parties are into this because to be honest it can be a pretty intense experience, the most common tip was relax, your throat and breathe through your nose. Relax your throat and only allow the penis to go as far as you are comfortable. Breathe through your nose and lick while the penis slips down your throat. While a hand job and blow job combo will get the job done for many penis owners the idea of a deep throat experience is on the to do list.
- Variety is the spice of life
While you may have a tried and tested technique, or you may know what has worked for your partner in the past variety is the spice of life. Trying a new technique just before they orgasm is not recommended. Those I spoke to offered these suggestions – if you always do the hand job blow job combo try deep throat for a change, - if their balls are something you have avoided because you are not comfortable try moving outside your comfort zone and massage them a little, - if you have never tried massaging your partners perineum (area between scrotum and anus) give it a go it can be very pleasurable – last suggestion which could be challenging for some but many love it is to stimulate around the anus and this can extend to a prostate massage if all parties consent. In addition you could vary the timing, blow job as soon as they come home after a long day or as they wake up to start the day on a great note.
- Make Eye Contact
It has been mentioned in conjunction with other tips in this article but looking lovingly into your partner’s eyes while you take their penis in and out of your mouth can be a real turn on. Simple but oh so effective.
- Enjoy it
Enjoying it, being enthusiastic is key to oral sex in general. Enjoy giving pleasure, be in the moment, get turned on by the pleasure you are giving your partner. Don’t go into the process half-heartedly, that applies to any sexual activity. Giving pleasure is as important as receiving it, so jump in enthusiastically and enjoy it. It will undoubtedly be returned to you.
